Bad Dates
Flash Fiction
It only takes one disaffected employee to ruin your business.
[ping][ping][ping] The notifications were threatening to spoil Nate Bowen’s evening with his ‘perfect match’. Being the boss of the fastest-growing online dating site had its privileges; he could pick and choose. Switching off audible ‘alerts’ should have helped but the fast-scrolling list of complaints was impossible to ignore. Then her phone started flashing. The wide smile he’d been seduced by became stony indifference as friends his date had guided towards the site - his dating site - started with their ‘what the fuck’ stories of mismatched matchmaking. The Jock and the Bookworm. Smelly Guy with her most fastidious friend from the spa. Steak Girl and Vegan Guy. Inappropriate Joke Man with Miss Prim and Proper. Yuk.
Someone had been messing with the algorithms.
His pleased-with-himself smile was the one all over the billboards. He was the face of MatchMakers, “a perfect match every time or we’ll pay for your dates and your money back”. He looked up, thumbs no longer scrolling through demands in shouty capital letters for IMMEDIATE REFUNDS, to see all eyes turned towards him. Every table in this talk-of-the-town restaurant had been booked in the name of his business, using the credit line he’d signed off on.
There were ill-matched couples everywhere he looked.
“Maybe we could go somewhere a little quieter”, he whispered, hoping to rescue his evening. The green eyes flashed angrily as his date turned the phone screen towards him, the handset suddenly seeming tiny as the sleeves of the dress rode up to reveal powerful forearms and a rope and anchor tattoo. The prominent Adam’s Apple bounced angrily as their voice lowered at least an octave. “I think not, sailor. You’re not my type”.
One disaffected employee is all it takes. And hell hath no fury like an ex-girlfriend with coding skills and an inside track on the algorithm.
All it takes is a random writing prompt and a spare hour.
My notebook reads:
“Bad dating app - algorithm all wrong”