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Nathan Slake's avatar

This was a wonderful read, slipping back and forth in perspective, as well as weaving in the actual words from your own manuscript. It totally works.

"Maybe they were stamping down on the creation of dystopian imaginings." -- hehe, excellent.

And I absolutely LOVED this. It's so ... real! I'm in there, within your perspective, imagining myself doing just the same.

"Every time he glanced up, distracted by the need to add another line to his draft, her fierce green eyes bored into him. He found himself thinking random thoughts. Does a nose ring hurt? Why purple; isn’t that an old person’s hair colour? Tattoos. Maybe he should get one. What would it be? Would she let him look at hers? Can she tell what I’m thinking?"

Also, "He watched the watcher." ... A coincidence in "The Watcher", given our conversation that led me here.

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Matt Inwood's avatar

A very Auster-like piece of writing! One writer looking to and reaching through another for help. I hope it did/does (help). I'll try and send you some words of editing inspiration soon, I promise. x

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