31 Comments
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M. Walsh's avatar

Wow! Well done!

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

Thanks, Madonna. So lovely that you’re reading. Me and Jeff, who’d have thought!

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Matt Inwood's avatar

It’s so lovely to read this in its finished form, Barrie. And to see you so focussed on forging further with your own form as a writer. It’s a beautiful story. I hope many others find it and help shape that passion further.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

I read it today like a reader, not a writer. Not THE writer of these words. It told me a story. Opening up the process to you, dear Matt, was a step change in my approach. And I am so grateful for the gentle nudges and the improvement ot your engagement wrought, not just in this tale but in the story of my writer’s life. 💛

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Caro Henry's avatar

Just beautiful!

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

Thank you so much, Caro. Appreciate that so much.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

What a touching and timely story, Barrie. Just plain beautifully written.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

Sharron, thank you so much. I don’t know why but I’ve been nervous about sending it out. Sensitive subject, competition entry and so many other thoughts. This is such a lovely encouragement to just write the words and let the story fly.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

I have read this story three times, now, Barrie, and, no doubt, will again. Each time I approach the ending paragraph, chills prickle the back of my neck just as the first time I read it. Powerful writing!

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Andrea Norrington's avatar

Beautiful, heart renderingingly tender words. Thank you for sharing.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

I am so glad if it touches readers. My heart breaks for the youngsters. 💔 all I have is words.

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Matthew Long's avatar

Wonderful Barrie. Thanks.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

Thanks so much for reading, Matt.

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Bill Adler's avatar

I loved this. The butterfly is a fragile creature, a perfect metaphor for a story about war and uncertainty and terror, where winds more powerful than us control our lives, as the wind can take control of a butterfly's destiny.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

This makes me very happy that you see this in the way the story came to me, Bill. I really appreciate you reading and sending such an encouraging comment. Have a great weekend.

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Susie Mawhinney's avatar

Barrie this is without doubt IMHO your best writing ever... a brave and yet faultless combination of fragility and war - I am in silent awe, this deserves to win any completion you have entered it into! Bravo.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

Mm, I think I might have kicked up some dust as I flitted about packing as my writing retreat draws to a close. Very touched. Thank you so much. And you’ve kindly read a lot of my scribblings so your judgement is really meaningful. Reaching my friends, my generous readers, is the kind of winning I delight in. 💛

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Pamela Leavey's avatar

Very poignant and lovely read, Barrie.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

Thank you so much for reading it, Pamela. Very kind.

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James's avatar

Beautiful. Well crafted. Gave me a jolt as the penny dropped and I had to go back and read sections again with new meaning. x

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, James, and the kind, encouraging words.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

PS … I am so thrilled to see you here, James. Your words will be a fabulous addition to our reading pile. We have found Substack to be a very supportive and encouraging community.

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Susan Miller's avatar

My mind’s eye followed the boy/man and his butterfly, Thank You! It is a lovely tale. Stay proud if your work

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

That’s such a lovely encouragement to discover at the start of a new writing week. Thank you so much, Susan. Super kind.

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Jane Dougherty's avatar

Beautiful, moving story. So well done!

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

Thank you so much. Secretly, very proud of it. The wonderful Matt Inwood was an editing genius with it, guiding my eye to ways of improving it. I learned so much even if it didn’t catch the selector’s eye.

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Jane Dougherty's avatar

It is a good piece. There’s never any knowing why exactly a piece is rejected. Did you read the winning entries? Chances are they liked a completely different style. Something I was told when I submitted a similar sort of piece to a Canadian press, was that they weren’t comfortable publishing something ‘culturally appropriated’ ie wasn’t from the Ganges Delta so couldn’t write about people living there. I edited out all specific geographical references and they published it.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

Thank you. In a sense I wanted it to be geographically (politically, too) neutral but it captured my sense of the futility of conflict (something I was familiar with in my ‘world of work’ days). Perhaps, I made it too oblique. I haven’t dwelt on it … I feel myself moving gently toward a modest anthology (‘The Long and the Short of It’), a collection of the words I love stringing together. It’ll have to be a present to myself. Saving up!

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Jane Dougherty's avatar

No, it didn’t come over as oblique. Went straight to the point. You maybe just didn’t have the right ‘credentials’ to write it, that’s all. Book folk are incredibly squeamish about being considered reactionary.

I’m doing the same, hoping to have enough cash to self-publish a series I loved writing. I have so many novels looking for homes I haven’t a hope of seeing them all in print.

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

We shall have to cheer one another along as we walk this path. Bon courage.

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Jane Dougherty's avatar

Let’s do that!

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